Stop complaining about them.
If you live to teach or coach like me or just give advice from time to time, which is pretty much everyone, you’ve probably complained about someone not taking your advice.
“I don’t understand why they just won’t do it!”
“They have the information! All they have to do is use it!”
“I don’t think they actually want to get better!”
Saying things like this holds us back from actually helping people because it causes us to frame them in a negative light. We stop viewing them as someone to help and instead view them as someone to avoid.
Talking like this is also foolish because people so often don’t need “information” to change, they need inspiration. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never been inspired by a negative person or someone I felt didn’t care for me very much.
The more we talk down about the people we’re trying to help the more we begin to shun them because they’re not like us. They’re not teachable. They’re resistant. They’re no longer an opportunity. They no longer make us, the teachers or advice givers, feel good about ourselves.
The Bible says, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3 (NIV)
I’m pretty sure this includes coaches and advice givers. I doubt we’re given a pass because our intent is good!
The thing is I truly want what’s best for people. I mean it’s the core of my personal mission statement. I also believe you do, too. But we have to be okay when people ignore advice, are slow to act, or go another direction.
We must remain positive about them anyhow.
This is something I’ve struggled with a lot.
This is something I’m praying about because I need God’s help to kill my arrogance. To draw attention to the plank in my own eye. To help me remember we’re all God’s imperfect children.
Trading in arrogance for Godly perspective helps all of us better assist our neighbors, family and friends and be the only Bible some people may ever see.
Question: Has talking negatively about someone kept you from helping them?