We All Go Home At Day’s End

At the end of every workday, I do the same thing.  I board the bus and go home.

I traveled more in my last job so at the end of some of those days, I went to my hotel room.  But after a few days, I’d of course go home.  All of me would go home.

At age 16, I was at my heaviest weight ever – 220 pounds.  At the end of the school day, I’d go home.

When I was in my mid-twenties and living in Ohio I blew through money and partied a lot.  More than at any other time in life actually.  You know where I wound up at the end of every late night?  Yep, you guessed it.


We all end up there, and we take every part of ourselves with us.  The next morning home is from where we launch into the new day.  And we leave no part of ourselves behind.

Since moving to Alexandria, Va., I began this blog, started a marketing coaching business, co-led Financial Peace University twice with my wife, started working at the Pentagon, became an active member of my church and more.

Through all of this I’ve improved my marriage, made wonderful friends, grown closer to God, changed lives and accomplished a whole lot.

But you know what?

I also struggled.  I shed tears.  I faulted.  I stumbled.  I made mistakes.  I battled insecurities.

In other words, I went home.  Just like the overweight high school kid who tried to be kind and make people laugh to make friends while simultaneously he hated who he saw in the mirror and mentally beat himself up every single day.

Just like the guy who partied too much in Ohio and who was stressed out and lonely.  The guy who was living check-to-check and barely able to pay bills at times.  At the end of each day, he went home.

You see, when we launch from home into the world, we take our faults, problems, flaws and insecurities with us.  Like ghosts, they travel everywhere at our side.  They influence our decisions.  Dictate our mood.  Pollute our spirit.  And at the day’s end, we take them home again with us.

We don’t read about these parts of people’s lives in Facebook status updates.  But we sure do take them home with us after a day of leading a team.  Running a business.  Caring for children.  Delivering goods.  Supporting an executive.  Or whatever it is you  do each day.

From the admired and respected leader to the neighbors who seem “perfect” to you, we all go home until the next day when we step out into the world with our ghosts and do it all over again.

So what’s my point?

Cut yourself some slack.  Relax a little about that co-worker.  Give that family member another try.  Don’t be so critical of your boss.  Hug your spouse more and complain less.

Remember that we all launched into the day from the same place we took our problems with us the night before.


Question: How do you deal with unpleasant aspects of your life?


7 thoughts on “We All Go Home At Day’s End

  1. Dealing with unpleasant aspects of my life is easy – I just pray about them and then watch for opportunities to handle them better, EXCEPT when I put my hands over my ears and say ‘LALALALALA”. Or stay up too late commenting on blogs. Or start a new knitting project. Or turn to chocolate. (But only dark, because it is good for you.)

      • Almost, but instead of beginning a new knitting project, I made a dog’s breakfast out of the current one which triggered the need for more restorative blog reading. (All while praying about my unpleasant aspects, of course)

  2. Unpleasant aspects of my life? Sadly…I have often been slow to face them. Slow to face, or perhaps uncertain as to how to face them. Both I guess. But I totally agree with Loren – letting other people in on the fact that you’re working on yourself often opens the door for great conversation and…surprisingly: deeper friendships.

  3. Your mention of facebook profiles was so appropriate. I think we see the images that other people project, and we often don’t understand that there’s a lot of baggage and pain in the background. It’s easy for us to think that we’re somehow alone in our brokenness and failure. One of the things I want to start working on is to let people know straight up that I’m not where I want to be.

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