10 reasons my dog is a terrible leader

Ten reasons my dog is a terrible leader. If your animal does at least 5 of these, they’re also in the terrible category.

1. She’s selfish.  If my wife and I were starving to death, Belle would eat the last morsel of whatever was left without a second thought.

2. She has a one-track mind.  She lives for food.  That’s it.  Nothing else.  Period.

3. She’s unethical.  She steals the cat’s food and goes through visitors’ luggage in search for valuable items like their snacks.

4. She’s a horrible communicator.  When asked questions, all she does is turn her head to the side, making me feel stupid and like she doesn’t have time for me.  When she does speaks, she assumes I know what “roooo rooooo rooooo” means.  And you know what they say about dog’s that assume.

5. She’s dictatorial.  When it’s walk time, she gets behind us and herds her us out the door like inferior, small farm animals.

6. She’s lazy.  She sleeps all day other than 6 a.m. and 5 p.m., when she’s fed.

7. She’s an attention hog.  If she spots one of us petting another animal, she hurls herself between us and the perceived enemy.

8. She’s greedy.  When on her walk, if she encounters someone who gives her a treat, she accosts every passerby for the next mile.

9. She’s not loyal.  If she managed to break free from her leash, she would run, reaching maximum speed in 2.5 seconds and soon disappear into the sunset.

10.  Finally, she’s one of the best break dancers around.  When is the last time you met a strong leader who was a strong break dancer? (Click here to see her in action)

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